Emails concerning the Creation
By Leonid Schick
Translated by Gregory Goldberg
From: Testing Department
To: Development Department
To whom it may concern
The whole day I’ve been testing your stupid game “Genesis” and I’m really puzzled because practically nothing works. Several times I restarted this game and every time I get a black screen only. I don’t know what moron developed this, but it irritates the hell out of me. Do you have somebody there who has any clue how to make it work?
Please respond ASAP
Gerry O. Dorfman,
Testing Department, Thornhill.
To: Testing Department
From: Development department
Dear Mr. G. O. Dorfman
I personally did most of the work developing this game and I don’t understand why you’re complaining. From your letter I see that you can’t even get to the second level. The game is design for school children. The first step is rather simple: with the cursor, circle part of the black screen and press Delete.
(Though I’m hesitant to give you such primitive instructions)
Development Department, Toronto.
Dear Madam Lucy Ferr
Thank you for your response and detailed instructions.
I managed to separate darkness and light and got successfully to the second level. From there things went much easier. I quickly made a few planets, and put a large star in the centre. I planted some vegetation on the main planet without problem. For some reason, just when I started making living creatures, huge dinosaurs crawled from everywhere, literally occupying all available space on the face of the planet! I’ve spent four days trying to get rid of them. Nothing works… I don’t know what to do… I am waiting for your immediate reply, with further instructions, madam.
G. O. Dorfman
Dear G. O. Dorfman
Take my word, I really want to help you but I have a feeling you forgot everything you studied at school. Take a look at the temperature of the Planet. If you lower the temperature, all your dinosaurs will die and vanish to the very last one.
Lucy Ferr (Ms, by the way)
The Game is wonderful! You created a product that will be a hit for a long time not only with children.
I reached Level 6 and created Man. I tried to make him look like me and I called him my late Granddad’s name - Adam. I want to ask you to help me create a girlfriend for him.
I copied Adam, then deleted some of his useless body parts. It still came out looking like a man. I need a woman…
With great affection,
This is very easy. You forgot Stem Cells. You can make a woman using Stem Cell Technology from any spare part of Adam’s body. I know you can do it!
How is it going Lucy?
I can’t describe my excitement. They look so good together. I watch them for hours and it’s obvious their mutual feeling is growing.
It could be that some people can get trough all levels faster, but for me these past six days seem like eternity.
By the way, are you busy tomorrow, Saturday? How about we get together? By shear chance I got hold of two tickets for Cirque de Soleil show.
Looking forward to hearing ‘Yes’ from you.
It was my dream to see this show! Tomorrow I have the day off. Let’s meet at the main entrance. I will wear a black skirt with a tale. How will I recognize you?
I’ll be wearing all white.
First published in Nasha Canada
from the October-November 2009 Edition of the Jewish Magazine